This was a “coming out of the neurodiversity closet” post, I suppose.
Since posting that, those wonderful neurodivergent friends I mentioned have rallied around me with love and support. It feels good.
However, since making that post, I’ve been doing quite a bit of emotional processing. Old memories have come to the surface. The bullying. The failed friendships. The loneliness. The feeling like an alien. Feeling like an outcast.
Even though those things are behind me, they still haunt me. I’ve made a nice, happy life for myself, but I know there’s still a few things I would like to improve.
In my last post, I mentioned that I no longer spend time with those with whom I need to mask. This has improved my mental and emotional health immensely. That being said, there are still a few occasions when I need to spend time with unsafe people. It’s unavoidable sometimes.
How I can make those situations more bearable and not destroy my mental health?
Trying a new therapy
I will be partaking in something called the “Safe and Sound Protocol” soon. This is an auditory therapy based on Polyvagal Theory. SSP is purported to help with nervous system regulation, anxiety, sleep, social engagement, emotional reactivity, auditory sensitivities (like misophonia) and more.
This audio program is not just for neurodivergent folks with Autism or ADHD. In fact, SSP has been used by those dealing with trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Sensory Processing Disorder, brain injuries, and reading comprehension issues.
I haven’t been to therapy in years, but I was able to find a therapist in another state who can facilitate SSP virtually via Telehealth.
My hope is that SSP can help me not go into Fight or Flight mode when I’m around people outside of my inner circle. I’m hoping that it can help me process some of the bullying and trauma and isolation from my childhood and let go of any regrets I have from before I knew about my brain type.
Either way – I will make sure to chronicle the results here in case it may help you all in your wellness journeys.
Check out part 3 here.